Is there no polite way to spit...?

This is for Avatar, but I invite you all to comment (unless, of course, you've never needed to spit or swallow spooge, in which case you can use your imagination, I suppose.)

Me, I don't have a problem with The Spooge as long as it doesn't leave the various and sundry orifices in which it belongs.

However, it has a nasty, filthy habit of (to quote Paul Simon) slip sliding away. Besides, there are those among us who do not care for the weird, funky-salty taste. And sometimes, even I will admit it is downright foul. That being in the case of a frequent cigar smoker. Gah...!

In the latter case, or for those of us who are phobic of weird textures, what the hell do you do with it? I am at a loss to think of a polite way to get rid of it.

Going hhhork...PTOOEY! is definitely out of the question, although it would be funny (a spooge spit-take, if you will.)

Going hhhork...PTOOEY! into a doily? Still rather crude.

Hrm. What would Miss Manners do...?

We could ask, but somehow I don't think she would dignify that with a response.

I knew a girl who used to get up and run to the bathroom, or less often, demurely spit it into a tissue. That was if she opted to go downtown at all. Now she's married. Typical. And I thought she just sucked figuratively.

Me, I'd spit it into his sock. I understand that's what you guys do when you're alone, anyway.

Moral of the story? Never touch a man's used socks.

Any other suggestions? With the horking and the ptooiing...?

How about you, there, in the back...with the suspiciously starched-looking socks?

Go ahead.

This

is the kind of gratuitousness that simply must stop.