Is there no polite way to spit...?
This is for Avatar, but I invite you all to comment (unless, of course, you've never needed to spit or swallow spooge, in which case you can use your imagination, I suppose.)
Me, I don't have a problem with The Spooge as long as it doesn't leave the various and sundry orifices in which it belongs.
However, it has a nasty, filthy habit of (to quote Paul Simon) slip sliding away. Besides, there are those among us who do not care for the weird, funky-salty taste. And sometimes, even I will admit it is downright foul. That being in the case of a frequent cigar smoker. Gah...!
In the latter case, or for those of us who are phobic of weird textures, what the hell do you do with it? I am at a loss to think of a polite way to get rid of it.
Going hhhork...PTOOEY! is definitely out of the question, although it would be funny (a spooge spit-take, if you will.)
Going hhhork...PTOOEY! into a doily? Still rather crude.
Hrm. What would Miss Manners do...?
We could ask, but somehow I don't think she would dignify that with a response.
I knew a girl who used to get up and run to the bathroom, or less often, demurely spit it into a tissue. That was if she opted to go downtown at all. Now she's married. Typical. And I thought she just sucked figuratively.
Me, I'd spit it into his sock. I understand that's what you guys do when you're alone, anyway.
Moral of the story? Never touch a man's used socks.
Any other suggestions? With the horking and the ptooiing...?
How about you, there, in the back...with the suspiciously starched-looking socks?
Go ahead.
Me, I don't have a problem with The Spooge as long as it doesn't leave the various and sundry orifices in which it belongs.
However, it has a nasty, filthy habit of (to quote Paul Simon) slip sliding away. Besides, there are those among us who do not care for the weird, funky-salty taste. And sometimes, even I will admit it is downright foul. That being in the case of a frequent cigar smoker. Gah...!
In the latter case, or for those of us who are phobic of weird textures, what the hell do you do with it? I am at a loss to think of a polite way to get rid of it.
Going hhhork...PTOOEY! is definitely out of the question, although it would be funny (a spooge spit-take, if you will.)
Going hhhork...PTOOEY! into a doily? Still rather crude.
Hrm. What would Miss Manners do...?
We could ask, but somehow I don't think she would dignify that with a response.
I knew a girl who used to get up and run to the bathroom, or less often, demurely spit it into a tissue. That was if she opted to go downtown at all. Now she's married. Typical. And I thought she just sucked figuratively.
Me, I'd spit it into his sock. I understand that's what you guys do when you're alone, anyway.
Moral of the story? Never touch a man's used socks.
Any other suggestions? With the horking and the ptooiing...?
How about you, there, in the back...with the suspiciously starched-looking socks?
Go ahead.
posted by Pisser | 2:39 PM
11 Comments:
Make a game of it! Place paper cups at intermittent distances and spit as best you can since various distances earn worthy methods of reciprocation.: 5 feet = cunnilingus, 30 feet = some strap-on pegging (with optional reach-around).
Did I ever tell you about the time I blew this one guy so well (apparently) that I heard it buzz past my ear and hit the wall facing him with a loud "SPLAT!"?
For taste issues, I've heard the best cum's from, er, comes from a non-smoking vegan who drinks a lot of pineapple juice. (Hawaii, here I cum!)
I've heard that too...! But eating pineapple always makes me need to floss..hrm...flossing ;)
All I know about flavor is that, just like with how it makes your pee smell, eating asparagus or broccoli makes it even more bleachy nasty. Wasn't it Pisser who said that Starbucks makes your pee smell like Cheerios? I'd like to see if Starbucks affects jizz.
Could you just stop and put a sock on it when the receivor starts coming but before the shooting begins? Seems like there's a short window of opportunity.
Thanks, B. Now am having lewd thoughts about the Red Hot Chili Peppers ca. 1990-something.
I never knew what to do with it until I decided to just fight my gag reflex and swallow the stuff. It's truly not as bad as I thought it would be. One quick gulp, and it's over. Also, men love it.
Politeness be damned. I think if you're concerned about being polite you should probably not engage in any kind of fucking or sucking.
Sex is supposed to be undignified. It's sweaty, smeary, squelchy, gasping, grunting fun.
But if you are concerned just remember that to the guy you've just blessed with oral pleasure it really doesn't matter what you do. Swallow, dribble, spit. Whatever. He's not going to care much because: he just got a blowjob!
All he's thinking is "Whooohooo!".
But I've got to say that's the first time I heard that we're supposed to use socks! Is this a rule? Why did no-one tell me?
"It's sweaty, smeary, squelchy, gasping, grunting fun."
*gasping for air*
*grin* Gasping for breath, I forgot that one.
I left out moaning, shaking, whispering, scratching, laughing, biting and (of course) screaming..
Ew.
Need tetanus shot.
Well you could always spit into your pot plant.........I have done this and the bloody thing is growing like a rampant green alien!
Fabulous experiment so if you are feeling at all self concious just tell em its a biology experiment!
Spit that spooge right into his mouth. Let him take care of it, it's his after all!
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